Padre

We all have a father
Some call him dad
Or Pop
Some refer to him as a sperm donor
But none of us would be here without him
Whatever the name you choose

Mine is getting older
Almost 80
He’s been tough my whole life
Very tough
But~
now that time seems shorter
He’s mellowed
A tiny bit
Very tiny
I feared him as a child
Now as an adult
I only fear losing him

Times a funny thing
We all have it right in front of us
Seems endless
Until it’s not
It’s gone
In an instant
And nothing can bring it back
But with me
It did
I got more
I got a lot more
Everyone and everything I was going to say goodbye to
I didn’t have to
I was spared
It rarely ever happens

Children are supposed to go after the parents
So, I wasn’t and now I’m pretty sure I will
I was going out on my time
Now I’ll watch as they go out on theirs
The mom and dad that raised me
Made me
Loved me
Will leave me
I am powerless to stop it
Powerless to know
how
when
where

I can hold his hand
Lean on his arm
Laugh at his jokes
Hug him
Sit at a meal with him
But I can’t stop thinking about what life will be like without him

He made me
Loved me
Guided me
I’m a part of him all the way through
The positives I am proud of
And the negatives I can’t deny

He still lives in the house where I was raised
My bedroom is still up the stairs
I can see it, in detail
First room on the right
Even though it’s been years
It would still feel like home
Just like he does

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