Easy like Sunday morning

It’s odd now when Michael leaves for a business trip
The door closes behind him and the quiet of the house is loud
The dogs sit and seem to sulk
I sort of do too
I spent so many days, yearning to be alone
The loss of privacy is something no one prepares you for in the midst of an illness
They hover
Worry
Sigh
But, never leave you alone
So, the house is mine and I await Courtney’s visit
She is no longer a little girl in pigtails that I carry on my hip
She is almost twenty-five and a young woman I deeply admire
Crazy how life just rolls on
By you
To you
In spite of you
Between the hills and valleys the days keep showing up

Linsey, my sisters oldest, just had her second baby
She is the mother that she never had
Mendy gave birth but didn’t raise her kids
So, Linsey is figuring it out and doing a fantastic job
Another young woman I deeply admire

I am back in physical therapy with Nancy (speaking of someone I admire)
She quit a couple of years ago and I lost her
Tina, my hand therapist, moved to a new location in January and there was Nancy!
So, that part of life feels complete and hopeful
I am still recovering and with those two focused on my hands and feet
I feel good about my future

I guess I feel good in general
I have a profound sense of gratitude everyday
I still believe that all this will mean something some day
I tend to laugh a lot and even though my “fifth gear” my not return
I am not sure I want it to
My life is more mellow now
The music I play is more mellow
The manic desires of prestige and popularity are gone
I am present
every moment
every day
The peace, just that brings, is astounding

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