The Mother Ship and My Mother

We are just back from a trip to Long Island, New York.
Michael was recognized for twenty five years with his company.
He gave a speech and wore a tie and his mother and sister were there as well.
It was a good trip.
When we boarded the plane coming home I noticed out the window my wheelchair sitting by the gangplank, alone. It was going to be loaded along with strollers and other carry on bags too big to fit but at that moment, it sat alone.
I couldn’t take my eyes off it.
It was so symbolic.
I do feel like seeing it like that alone was a sign that next time we fly, it won’t be there.
I will walk.
I may still have braces on my feet to do it but I will walk through the airport.
It was strange to be in NY and not go to Manhattan.
I have a connection and a love for that city that is hard to describe.
I went there for the first time in my twentys’and felt alive, vibrant, strong and capable of anything,
New York City makes me feel like a superhero.
I thrive there in the pulse of the crowds.
The energy is huge and rideable.
I’ve said many times its like I connect with the” mother ship” when I’m there.
So, the last time I was there, I took my mother.
Huge mistake.
It was her seventieth birthday and I wanted to do something really amazing.
I booked the Carlyle Hotel.
I wanted my mom to feel the pulse and the beat.
I wanted my mom to love the city.
She didn’t.
I pushed
We drank
It was a trip I wanted
I never asked her
She would have preferred meditating in San Francisco
Or doing anything but racing at that pace, in that place
It was the Fall before my life fell apart.
I didn’t, couldn’t or wouldn’t see this until now
I pushed when I just should have sat.
Not shopped.
I saw the skyline today from the plane as we took off,
When we landed it was too foggy to even see the runway
I got a long slow look at the city I love.
The pilot seemed to take his time on the climb and then the turn,
from my window view I could see the city.
The Chrysler Building
The Empire State Building
The pond in the park
The space where the towers used to be
I believe in my heart I will see this city again.
The Statue of Liberty looked so small but in reality of the lives of millions
she is huge.
I put my earbuds in and listened to k.d. Lang sing the song Hallelujah.
It was religious.
It was amazing.
It also made me convinced
I need to go meditate with my mom in San Francisco.

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