I Was That Girl

I am going through old boxes and photo albums to pass the time.
I got the idea from Julie to do a collage of pictures old and new on my backsplash in the kitchen.
I haven’t gotten very far but I’ve seen enough to know I still feel like me.
They say that every seven years you have a totally new body. New cells, new hair, even new enamel on your teeth.
Allergies can come and go in seven years as well.
I have a new immune system, no hair, very few eyelashes and thirty pounds of weight and I still feel and remember everything about the me in these pictures.
The way my hair felt to put up in a ponytail when it was at its thickest and
longest. The way it felt to have those long acrylic nails.
Eyelashes so thick I used to separate them with a safety pin before I applied mascara. Mascara has always been optional for me.
In every picture I’m the one leaning in, smiling big, making a very happy face.
I look like I’m loving every minute in every one.
From nineteen to thirty-three it doesn’t seem to matter where or with whom.
I kept thinking if someone went through these they would see me in cowboy hats, at home wearing a feather boa, dressed in a myriad of costumes, learning to surf, trying to ski, on a horse in the rainforest in Costa Rica, riding in a helicopter in Hawaii and on a gondola in Venice. Getting married in a hot air balloon isn’t so shocking when you see the decade preceding it documented in photographic detail.
I’m proud of that girl, I am glad I was that girl.
That girl was fun and laughed so loud the police have been called, more than twice, true story! Where did she go? Why do I look in the mirror and see a horror show?
I’m in pajamas every day and a hat that I’m pretty sure Phyllis Diller would have worn.
Where is the me that felt so comfortable I would be photographed in a bikini, a lot?
I’m even posing in most of them….where is she??.
I wanted this to be a project to pass the time and update a much needed part of the kitchen. Memory lane has always been a cause for laughter and pride.
Now it just feels like I’m on the other side of the Grand Canyon, looking across wondering how in the world I even got here.

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