A few days before transplant, when Michael was at home. I read Psalm 119.
It’s long and covers a myriad of my issues; having my eyes opened, that my life is down in the dust and I need life given to me, help for my heart and for
understanding, a break from weariness, instruction and to be remembered and healed from my affliction. That I rise before dawn and cry out for help and put my hope in Gods word.
On transplant day I read Psalm 121 and later that morning so did the chaplain.
Two days later I read Psalms 138 and 139. Very spot on.
In the days that followed parts of Psalms 140, 141, 143 and 144 were verbatim what I needed to say and hear. Same goes for the next book which is Proverbs, now almost entirely highlighted with my pink highlighter.
The day after my horrific outing to the PT/OT gym on day plus eight I read
Proverbs 31, the last chapter in the book.
I’ll just go ahead and quote it, it’s more believable that way.
” speak up for those who have no voice, for the justice of all who are
dispossessed. Speak up, judge righteously and defend the cause of the
oppressed and needy.
A good wife is far more precious than jewels – the heart of her husband trusts her and he will not lack anything good. She rewards with good not evil, works with willing hands-she draws on her strength and reveals strong arms. Profits are good and her lamp never goes out at night. Her hands reach to the needy and out to the poor. She is not afraid for everyone in her house has double. Strength and honor are her clothing and she can laugh.
She opens her mouth with wisdom and loving instruction is on her tongue.
Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.”
Wow, wow, wow!
It’s day + 10 and Michael should get here early afternoon.
We could go home as early as tomorrow but for sure by Monday.
I have this new desire, a calling to be all that I read in that Proverb.
A yearning to bust out of here and go home to be the best version of me I can be.
To not waste another day or control another moment.
To remember to breathe, laugh, live and love fully.
To actually be love.
To care more about Michael than I do for myself.
To follow the example he has been setting for almost three years now.
I can do better, he and God deserve it.
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