The first ankle sprain was getting out of the shower. I just rolled it over.
It happened again and my head went through our bathroom cabinet.
I missed the sharp wooden corner by an inch.
It rolled again getting into a friends’ car. Six times in a couple of weeks and we rented a wheelchair. We were being practical and thought it was safer then falling at work, so in I went.
I saw Dr. Stuart a few weeks later and he ordered me to physical therapy.
My hands were weakening as well so I did occupational therapy too. I found an outpatient hospital rehab that had both. My physical therapist was Nancy. She had these bright blue eyes that I have a visceral reaction to. She scared me. She shows no emotion and demands things of me that are terrifying. I want to walk so badly and she can make me panic with a glance. The fear I feel trying to walk up a ramp with a walker is so heavy I couldn’t breathe. I sweat through my shirt. I need to do this and Nancy is ramrod straight and I feel her stare and I suck the air for strength. I do not know if I can do this. I wear panic like a sundress.
I got rides to and from rehab and I wore air casts on my feet so I would stop rolling my ankles when I transferred in and out of the chair.
I wore big fuzzy socks over them and daily I could feel them less.
In January, before the headache started, we had booked a trip to the Dominican
Republic for the week of July 4th holiday. The store was closed that week every year and we were ready to get away. Wheelchair bound or not we were headed to the beach.
What an incredibly stupid idea that was. Really stupid!
In the air I feel the tingles in my hands getting stronger.
I was having a hard time holding my drink.”Uh- Oh.”
We land on what feels like the surface of the sun.
Seriously, I had no idea this kind of heat existed.
We have to disembark by using the stairs, shit.
When three of the biggest guys come up, I know they are for me.
They strap me into a tiny chair and carry me down.
It was humiliating.
And did I mention hot?
We get through customs and get our bags in record time because someone from the airport walked us through.
Ok, vacation, commence!