Really?

It’s harder to cry on antidepressants, not impossible, just harder.
Kinda like a three-legged race for tears.
You always hear how everything happens for a reason. Really?
I’m not so sure about that.
I am homesick and my business is gone.
My heart feels like a water balloon. Saggy and fragile.
I think back to three years ago and how happy I was and am baffled.
How does it all go so far so fast? Seriously, how?
I went from living my dream life to existing in a nightmare.
I’d like to know what to do about it.
I’ve screamed, cried, begged, bargained, prayed.
The thing is, I was a vegan. I exercised six days a week. Yoga, Pilates, an hour and a half spin class I rocked in, weight training, I did it all and loved it.
The road was wide, well lit and full of life and parties.
I had a drawer of bikinis I looked good in.
I had the business I had always wanted and it was thriving.
I was happy to go to work everyday.
I was involved at church, volunteered, fed the homeless, hosted a weekly Bible group at my house and I even rescued a Pit Bull.
So when I got sick and lost the use of my feet and hands, there was just no
answer.
I just could not understand what was happening and why.
The road to humility would take a long time and take my hair.
It’s full of broken pieces of mirror and broken pieces of me.

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